Never Feel Guilty For Doing You. Staying Home Or Working.
I will kick this post off with, YES, last time I checked it is indeed 2018. However, everything doesn’t have to be ideological or political conflict when it comes to motherhood.
I am just trying to grow as I go as a stay-at-home mom. Make no mistake, I respect all mothers and all decisions made that work for families in their homes. I can only speak of my own experience which is currently being a traditional SAHM. I am completely aware of how lucky I am to be in my boots! Let it be known that I know some great moms who long to be at home with their littles instead of working, then running home to catch up on the home-making. Believe me, I know I’m lucky!
Please take note that I also know there is dads who work 12 hour shifts too and come home and put 3 more in. I know a few stay at home dads. Keep in mind, every home is different, every partner is different. All decisions are our own and what’s best for us & our families.
It’s A Tough Gig.
Now, with all that been said & keeping all that in mind ….. All moms need a break. All moms should be able to openly say ‘I need a break’ without having to justify or feel guilty about it . . .
As most stay-at-home Moms know, although there is routine in order, not every day is the same. Days that run as planned are even exhausting. There is some evenings I’m right beside Alex at the window waiting for Gary to get in from work.
When it comes to putting Alex down at night, my anxiety starts to rise as part of me is begging for sleep. I understand that Gary has been working a 12 hour shift and he too needs sleep, so night duty here is all mine. It’s perfectly ok to be able to say ‘I’m tired’. I also know I am blessed to be able to feel the ‘stay-at-home’ mom exhaustion. There are some evenings I wish I could just sit down and be ‘finished’ for the day at a certain time. Honestly! Night time duties and sleep deprivation really mess your head up.
Just Because She Can Do It All On Her Own, Does Not Mean She Should Have Too.
Mom has been super busy all day. (Even though sometimes at the end of a long day, she looks around the house & wonders what she has been doing all day.)
Here’s what she has been doing:
Those sinks, toilets, floors & clothes don’t clean & wash themselves. On most days, this is done repetitively, more times than you care to count. Your child’s beautiful shining glowing face, has probably been wiped a couple of hundred times throughout the day. The toys you see laying around 3 different rooms have been in & out for the tenth time now. That dinner on the table didn’t cook itself, in fact, its probably been the 4th meal she’s done that day. (Your child’s little tummy gets breakfast, lunch & dinner, while mom has most likely snacked on the leftovers and washed them down with cold coffee) Your stylish little baby has probably went through a store room worth of clothes today due to….well….been a baby/child/toddler. who spills. Alot! Which brings an end to the day, right back to picking up all the toys Again, having a mountain of washing and sticky floors all ready to be tackled tomorrow. It can be hard to see the evidence when you get home, that is because, her work is never done.
Handle With Care.
There is no pay rises, no holiday party, its stressful, redundant and O so lonely at the best of times. When I say I need a break, I don’t mean a plane ticket or to jet off for days.
I mean, give her time to herself on your days off. Try to give her a surprise lie in now & again. Tell her some days that its a takeaway for dinner, take a break from cooking. Don’t forget to ask her how her day went and hold some adult conversation with her too. Remember, she has been home all day for hours without adult interaction.
Just cut a mom some slack, show her some appreciation & support. She will be a better mother for it.
It’s a crazy, wonderful, emotionally confusing rollercoaster, ride through it with her by helping her on & off.
Ex Oh (xo)