Can You Not.
When will you do it again? Conceive,Carry & Birth another child?
As regular readers & followers of mine, you all know I have ONE very cute, brilliant, amazing little boy. He is equally amazing and terrifying to raise. Alex is 16 months and currently in ‘wild child’ mode. It’s never a dull day around here both with good & bad times. I am enjoying my little man dearly. So why is it that lately I feel a certain pressure to extend my family.
Why in this day & age is it acceptable to openly ask another, ‘when will yee go again?’. First of all, whether your close or a stranger to me, I still feel its not something you should ask. I’d rather you didn’t feel the need to ask such question. Whatever happened to the simple ‘how are you, how’s all at home doing?’. In my opinion that’s as far as the questions about someone’s home life should go, ESPECIALLY if you are approaching someone out & about or at their work.
Everybody Has A Chapter They Don’t Read Out Loud.
‘Wont he be lonely on his own? Wont he be so spoiled if he’s an only child? Ah don’t you feel selfish in any way leaving him by himself?
My Long answer:
I had a hard pregnancy. I had early onset bleeding, vomiting for 20 weeks straight, kidney infections, SPD, Horrendous headaches with nose bleeds & then lastly, Obstetrics Cholestasis. All leading to an induction. I spent most of my 9 months literally worrying, in pain & feeling all sorts of failures as a mother to be. I had to be kept an eye on & visit doctors twice a week. We had fortnightly scans near the end to make sure everything was still alright. At what was a regular check on a Thursday, I was told, ‘ok we need to get baby out’. I still remember the nurse following me down the corridor to tell me ‘Please remember, if you notice any less movement, or very increased movement from baby at all by Saturday, it’s important you come straight in’. (my induction was scheduled for Saturday). The last 2 nights carrying the pregnancy was terrifying after being told this. I wont get into the birth of Alex. I suffered with mental health issues after and nightmares from the get go.
Stop Deciding For Others.
However, does Suzie really need to know all this?
So I apologise Suzie from the shopping market if my ‘family plans’ aren’t as straight forward as it was for you to ask me that question. To all the Suzie’s who think its perfectly acceptable to approach people in that manner, just don’t. Stop asking women such things and stop deciding for them what’s best for their families.
I am still a real family with ONE child believe it or not. I am no less a ‘family’ than someone with 5 children.
My decision on whether to have more kids, has very little to do with Alex maybe being ‘spoiled’ or ‘isolated. It has a lot more to do with the desire to carry, birth, meet & raise another incredible child. Especially all when the time is right for ME. The timing is my family’s business not ‘Suzies’.
‘You will be exactly as happy as you decide to be’
I am very happy & content with my one & only for now. Thanks Sue.
Ex Oh (xo)